If this were a banana republic, the recent removal of GM’s CEO and board would open up all kinds of possibilities—like renaming the divisions for cabinet members! Here are some revised logos with actual (often humorous) taglines.

Secretary of State Hillary Clinton gets Chevrolet, the largest brand.

Vice President Joe Biden, the old guy, gets Buick—the maker of old-guy cars. Great tagline.

President Barack Obama gets Cadillac, of course. This is the accurate tagline, although the historical one (“The Standard Of The World”) is funny as well.

GMC goes to the DNC.

Agriculture Secretary Thomas Vilsack gets Pontiac. Wait a minute—giving the Ag Secretary the keys to the sportiest brand?! That ain’t gonna work. This just in: Today it is announced that Pontiac is dead. RIP, Pontiac—joining the recent American orphan brands of Oldsmobile and Plymouth. *snif*

Interior Secretary Ken Salazar gets Saturn. “Rethink” now applies to the existence of the brand itself—it may get killed off along with Pontiac.

Attorney General Eric Holder gets HUMMER. (And yes, you want him on your side… and definitely not driving against you…)

Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel gets Saab. Born from Jets, now in Air Force One.

Chrysler Bonus—Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner!

Funny; my dad’s name is Charles, too…